What is a Miracle?

I love the idea that miracles are happening all the time. I know this to be true. But what are miracles? Simply stated, a miracle is a correction. A shift in perception, from darkness to light.

What is darkness? Fear. I find that when I am afraid of something, it will usually happen. Because I am thinking it, I am causing it. I am afraid of loss, I imagine that I can lose something, perhaps someone I love. This is my own thinking that is doing this. And I experience it. My mind is all powerful, there is nothing opposing it. So I experience the loss. Total loss is what death is. "I die daily", as the great St. Paul stated.

I don't avoid it, I go right into the idea, and let the whole thing completely happen. And then, here I am living, I am breathing, and I find that nothing is really different. I am still myself. I'm not fooled by my thoughts any more. If you really knew that everything, every idea is just a simple thought in your mind, you would not be afraid. You are only afraid of your thoughts. You are only thinking that some thoughts are good, some are bad. But all of them are in YOUR mind. You must accept that. They are not external to you. Your thinking is the problem itself.

If I have an idea of loss for a moment, say I have no idea how I will pay my bills. Oh no, what will happen? Well, who knows. But if I really let go into a possibility of losing my possessions, I feel that loss totally. I let them all go. The house, the furniture, my car, my cats...all of it. I will be without those things. Then, I realize, wow...I'm set free.

How does this happen? I don't know. But I only know that for me it is the only way to true lasting freedom. I will not allow the idea that I need possessions to be happy. It is simply not true. Being without them, I will still be me.

Waking up is an ordeal. If you are afraid something will happen, let it. Just let it happen. Your worst nightmare. Imagine it now, let it occur within your mind. OK. It is happening. I am totally bankrupt. I am totally alone...no relationships. Does this make you afraid? Good. Let it make you totally afraid.

Wow...now what?

I start to breathe a sigh of relief. All those ideas are just ideas. I can entertain them for a moment. Then I let them go as well.

Love is underneath all your thoughts of loss. All your fear. There is so much love there, and you won't experience it or let it in until you release the fear. I had a friend recently go into a great deal of fear in my house. I could not tolerate this amount of fear. I simply made it clear that this is not okay. You must let go of your fear. You are very insane when you let fear run your life. That is just not an option any longer. It is insane and there is no excuse for it.

I am amazed at the tenacity of the ego to always defend itself. If you could release the fear, you would be fine. The attack upon myself is over. After she left, she called the next day to apologize.

All I said was, you know exactly what you are doing...cut it out! Stop feeding the fear. Be yourself. You know that love is the answer. Love yourself now. Have the courage to live a different life now. To become God dependent. It is time to grow up and stop the madness.

Everyone has the power to be vigilant for God or for fear. It is entirely up to you. I cannot help you. You must do it yourself. You need to train your mind. No one can do it for you.

Miracles are happening all the time, but are you letting them happen to you?

Blessings!

Forgiveness Is My Function

My forgiveness is the means by which the light of the world finds expression through me. My forgiveness is the means by which I become aware of the light of the world in me. My forgiveness is the means by which the world is healed, together with myself. Let me then, forgive the world, that it may be healed along with me.

What does it really mean to forgive the world? Can I forgive something I constructed? In this lesson, I learn that the means is always forgiveness. The means to the goal...what goal? Freedom and happiness. Eternal life.

I cannot forgive something I think is hurting me. I have to let go first of the idea that anything is outside of me or of my mind. I have to accept causation...that I made this world. Then, and only then, is there hope for me.

If I look to someone else to save me, or to help me, or to condemn me...that is still me. I am still doing that. So, I have to accept that first I am MIND. I am all MIND, indeed I am the Mind of God thinking. Next, I accept that if there is conflict in this MIND that I am, it cannot be true. Why? Because God's Mind is never, ever in conflict. The Mind of God is truth, happiness, and joy and total freedom.

Any idea that states that God knows of your conflict is therefore false. He knows only that you are asleep. He has already provided the means for your awakening...but it is up to you to accept this means, apply it and be free. You have to become very certain of this, that you are responsible for your awakening. All the help is there, but you have to use it.

You have A Course in Miracles, use it! It is your ticket out of hell. I knew it the instant I found it. I became so elated, I wanted to tell everyone about it. But, it was just for me. No one else really cared. I was all alone in my dream, looking for the answer. I had been in a depression for six months. I had hit bottom. And there was the answer. In black and white print! I couldn't believe it.

We have been at this for 40,000 years, dear ones. The answer is now here and the means are provided. You only need to apply it, use it, and free yourself of the idea that you could find freedom in bondage.

Forgiveness, I learned the hard way. I had to see that my construct of a world, where someone else can take something from me, where I can lose the things I love, where I can hate or be hated, is all going on inside me. It wasn't easy. I wanted to blame someone else. I was angry at God a lot! I couldn't believe that if I was on a spiritual path that things would not work out my way!

How arrogant I was. I really thought I could manipulate God. It was so insane. But that is what I was thinking at the time. When I finally saw that I had constructed the entire scenario, that I was indeed the problem itself, I died. I had a moment of realization that God is in charge, and I have nothing to say about anything here. I had no control over anything. I only had to surrender and let go. I could not forgive, however. And I knew it. I had to ask Jesus to forgive this whole thing for me. Because to me, it was real.

Guess what? He did. He sent me people who told me it was all okay, and they set me free of my guilt. Only then could I see the perfection of my story and that all of it was a set up, to set me free. I had set it up for my total dissolutionment, and my total freedom.

I failed entirely. And I was so happy! Forgiveness is a result of letting go of the story, of the drama of your own nightmare. I had to forget it, to really release it. But to do that, I had to see the perfection of it, and then see it all worked. I had set my goal of freedom and the drama played out. In the meantime, I was in the throes of my awakening. It was excruciating. But I knew that I had to apply this Course and really do it!

The details of the story are quite irrelevant. What is important is the realization that I am still here in the same body and yet, I woke up! My drama is no different than anyone's really. It involved everyone I loved, including my kids, my ex-husband, my family, and all my dear friends who supported me all the way. I had made a decision to be free and this is how it worked. You must uncover everything that is binding you and let it go! I had to get in there and play out my story and let it undo me, so that I could experience what is real. Was it hard? Absolutely. But in Chapter 4 of the Course, there is a section where Jesus describes that all you have constructed is pain, and THIS NEED NOT BE. He gives total assurance that he knows all about it, and is giving you the solution. It doesn't have to be painful, it's just that is usually is so. Because the emotional attachment to what you have constructed is enormous. It is an ordeal to get out of your dream entirely. You have to fail totally at being a human being. And that is the last thing you want to do.

I learned to let go and surrender every detail of my life to God. I have learned that God really is taking care of me totally. The miracles that have occurred are incredible. It worked and is continually working. I'm just a witness to it. I know I am not alone and that there is light all around me and I am safe in the light of His love for me. This never changes. NEVER.

God is right here giving you everything you need for your awakening. Do you want it? It is inevitable because the cost of sleeping is too great. You are not free now if you have any conflict thoughts in your mind, and you need help. You are in a causal loop of insanity. Admit it and ask for help. You will be given all you need for this awakening. I know because I couldn't do it alone. I needed total help, and I got it.

I am responsible for what I see. I choose the feelings I experience and I decide upon the goal I would achieve. And everything that seems to happen to me, I ask for and receive as I have asked.

This one statement is the key to your happiness.

Love and blessings!

The Light Has Come

You are healed and you can heal. You are saved and you can save. You are at peace and you bring peace with you wherever you go. Darkness and turmoil and death have disappeared. The light has come.
This is such a timeless message. One day you will be totally saved and gone from this earth. You will not even remember your little life here on this tiny planet where you experienced for a brief moment in time, a prison for your mind. You will be free and will not ever remember an imaginary world where you came to die.

When will it happen? When you say so.

You have all power. Are you ready to exercise that power and depart this illusory world of nothingness? This is your choice. No one can do it for you.

If you are afraid of eternal life, of eternally loving everything and knowing who you are, you will not succeed. You must go through the "ring of fear". It feels like loss, but this is a trick. You can not lose your Self. You have lost already, you have lost your awareness of your Oneness with Everything. This is your only problem.

It doesn't take time. Because time is a trick, a sleight of hand, a vast illusion. Time is part of the game you are playing with yourself. It doesn't exist. There is only NOW.

What happened to me was that one day I awoke and realized I had everything I wanted. I felt tremendously strange, like nothing meant anything at all. I had money, kids, a house, a family, a healing practice. And it all was totally flat. I begged for help.

I was told to sit still. What occurred next lasted about four days.

I was instructed by light beings to lie down, let go of my resistance to this next step. I felt so weird. I entered a void in my mind. I let go into it. I was released from it and waves and waves of love poured all through me physically and mentally. I was in so much light! I felt that I was being changed from horizontal perception into a vertical realignment. Words don't really describe it.

I only remember that it was extremely emotional. I felt so much love, I cried for hours begging that it would never end. I wanted only that. Guess what I was told? It never ends! Love is eternal and so am I. Well, this was a major turning point and I have never been the same.

I felt very different after this. I felt light beings all around me for days and days. I went to a funeral for Jonathan Larson, the man who wrote the broadway show, Rent, who died just before it opened. My husband at the time had helped him arrange the music for the show over several years. I felt him there and knew he wasn't dead. I could feel his love and dedication to getting the message of love out into the world.

My whole life felt like it was totally new. I was in an altered state. I didn't know quite what to do with myself. So, I just kept doing normal things like taking care of my kids and cleaning the house. But I was different. I began to laugh at everything. I remember sweeping the kitchen floor and being so elated. I used to hate doing that.

My body changed, my skin softened and I had to learn to walk again. I felt pain still, but I learned to send it up through the top of my head. It always released rather easily. I was a bit angry that I could still feel everything. My senses were actually heightened to a degree that I had never experienced before.

I asked what do I do know? Within a few months, I met the Master Teacher on a video. There was an immediate recognition. I spent that day in communication with him. I knew he was my teacher, although I had never met him in the body.

Everything changed after that, I moved to Wisconsin and left my old life of suffering behind me. God was in charge of my life from then on. Every day is an adventure now. I have joined with those who are awake, who want to be totally free. There is nothing else to do now.

I love you! You are saved! You are free. When I am healed, I am not healed alone. You are in my mind, so you are healed along with me. All that is required for your enlightenment is the recognition that this is true.

How can I help you?

Thank you !

My only function is the one God gave me.

I just returned from a two week trip to Bogota, Colombia to teach at the Center for Un Curso De Milagros. It was a blast. Every day, two sessions each day, brothers would show up to experience the teaching and light of A Course in Miracles. This is a very active center and I was amazed at how beautiful everyone was and how easily they joined in a light experience not of this world.

My mighty companion, Marielle brought me there and taught with me every day. We had amazing experiences of healing of our personal lives, including relationships, and we also joined totally with these great teachers of the Course. Our Colombian brothers are so open and able to assist new people with the teaching. I felt right at home from the moment I arrived.

This lesson today sums up the focus of my life and nothing shows me this more than having a teaching assignment. My head was always cracking open and letting the light heal the spatial reference that is Bogota. I wasn't concerned with how many showed up, just that the quality of the conversion was so powerful and strong there.

I went through a lot of personal release and recognized in my brothers there the need for intimacy and healing of our relationships. We must focus on the release of our brothers from the need to stick together or determine how the relationship should look. I let go of a lot of mistrust of my brother and painful memories. I allowed every conversation to heal me. I joined with every brother to assist in the conversion of memories. All relationships are for joining and healing now. No other purpose could there possibly be. We are freeing each other to go home. We cannot do this without forgiveness. And this mighty function is the one God gave me.

But can I truly heal an illusion? No! It is not real, so the fastest way out is to recognize that with every relationship you maintain, you have an idea of grievance with it. Use the important forgiveness lessons from the Course, 61 - 70. Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world. Let me not forget my function. Each day we emphasize the need for healing of relationship because that is all that is actually going on in time/space.

Relationship actually is a part of the illusion. In truth, you are your Self. You have no relationship at all. You are whole. There is nothing outside you to relate to. Relativity is a lie. Yet, your function is still forgiveness while you are in time.

So, utilize these lessons. Each one can be seen as a way out of the hell of maintaining pain with your brother. Let him go! He is not separate from you, but you maintain him in your mind as an idea of possession. Free him from the bondage of your own idea of him and you will be free. Let him just be himself. The only appropriate response to a brother is appreciation. Gratitude. He is you, reflecting the light of your mind to you. Or the dark of your mind.

It is up to you how you respond. But the line I keep in mind is "You would not react at all to figures in a dream you knew you were dreaming." See if this works for you.

Blessings!

There Is Nothing To Fear

The presence of fear is a sure sign that you are trusting in your own strength.

I remember when I first left my parent's home to go to college. I had grown up around eight siblings and two parents, and the support system was intact. Although it was a chaotic household, I spent a good deal of time in my room, away from the noise, practicing my clarinet and reading. I loved books and loved quiet time. But when I arrived at the university and sat in my room and my friend left me there to return home, I was stricken with an intense anxiety attack.

I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. I didn't know what was happening to me. I just knew I was deeply afraid. But where did this fear come from? Why did it suddenly just occur out of nowhere? It was so strange, yet I had no answer for it. I was all alone.

There was nobody around that knew me or loved me. I'll never forget that feeling, because it was the beginning of my awakening. My question was: why am I so afraid? I tried to find the answer in the church where I grew up. But it didn't help. I felt lost and didn't know where to go for the answer. It was terrible, and I could only pour myself into school work.

I was so deeply affected by everything. I fell in love in my freshman year, moved in with my boyfriend, and then after a year, it was over. I went into a deep depression. I kept reading philosophy, existentialism. This helped. I knew I was not the only one who had felt the impossibility of this human existence.

I had to live my life, move to New York, get married, try to find a career that suited me. Then, I got pregnant and had two boys. I was always looking for a way out of this situation, because having what I wanted, a house, money, children....wasn't really fulfilling me. I still felt that deep fear underneath everything.

I didn't know what to do. I begged for help.

That fear never left me until I found the Course. It answered every question I had. You are in an insane situation. You think you are a body, in a world where everything dies. You are the problem. You are separate from your Creator. Yet, it is just a mistake, and it has already been corrected.

I realized I needed help and was willing to do anything to resolve this inner dilemma. Jesus started speaking to me. I listened. I did what he told me to do. I did the lessons of the Course diligently, exactly as it specified. I started teaching in a church and giving myself to this Course entirely. This terrified me too, but I couldn't say no. I had to experience my own awakening by doing all the things that terrified me. Speaking in front of a group was a big one.

I had to learn how to rely on God for everything! And it was so good to go through these fear points with my brothers in the class, with my own imagery. I wanted to know! I wanted to be able to reason, use my mind to release the fear. That is what the Course taught me and what my brothers continue to teach me. I am not alone!

Fear is illusion. All fear is merely an idea that is not true. Communication is sharing ideas, and lighting each others' way. It is so important not to try to solve this on your own. You don't need to, because you are not alone. You need your brother in this. You need someone to reflect your mind to you. It is not a conceptual teaching. It is an experience of joining.

I cannot wait to release my mind, or extend light into anyone's mind. I love it! I love being free and releasing fear. It isn't really important how it gets released, I cannot figure it out. I just want love now. This awakening is a joining with brothers in light, in the truth of love. It is not conceptual at all.

You use the concepts until you let go, and let God in. Let this light change you! Don't stay stuck in an idea, in a judgment thought, in an idea that you already know it. No! Let go entirely into "I don't know, God will show me if I let Him". Then let Him. Let Him tell you of your Self. You are the light of the world. Let this light shine before men. Be the answer that everyone is seeking, and don't ever think it's over. It just keeps extending, broadening, including everything into Itself.

There is indeed, nothing to fear.

I love you!

God is my Source, I cannot see apart from Him.

God is my Source, I cannot see apart from Him. This answers all problems I could ever imagine for myself. I did not create myself. God did. I am a thought in His Mind. Mind is singular. There are not two minds!

Can you accept this? From a split perspective, this makes absolutely no sense. So the problem is that you have a split mind. If you think you can make a world of bodies, of fear, of death and something unlike God in every way, you are in hell! The opposite of Heaven is hell, right? Hell is where you are because you have split your mind. I can rage at the world, I can rage at my brother, but I will still be insane.

Guess what? You are hallucinating! God didn't make this world, God didn't make you into a body...you did.

So, here you are in a body, reading this. Thank you. I just want to thank you for taking the time to read that there might possibly be a solution to all this insanity. And that this solution is here and is available to you right now. It doesn't take a lot of time to accept a new thought, does it? I can just release my idea that God wanted all this for me. And accept a new idea, that God knows nothing of it, and has already solved this problem for me.

Because you are in a dilemma, a made up image of yourself, you can now turn in another direction. You can now look with new eyes. But you need help in doing so. You need help because you really do think all this is real, don't you? Be honest. You do think you are a body. You really think you are separate from your brother.

So, the mind in separation needs a miracle. A new perspective. Ask for one! Right now! And do the lesson. God is my Source! God is love! I am free! I cannot see apart from Him. I am His thought. Every idea I have that denies this is simply not true.

I am healed and I can heal. If I accept the truth about myself, I am useful. I was recently on an airplane going to visit my Dad and as I was flying up there a voice came into my mind and it said to me, "You are extremely useful!"

Wow. It was so loud and clear and I felt so lighted up inside! I had to admit, I wasn't feeling all that useful in that moment, so it was good to hear. I realized suddenly that I don't value myself very much. I have doubts about myself. I had been wondering how I could be useful, because that is all I really want now. If I really am the Holy Son of God Himself, I am extremely useful. OK. That's not hard to accept.

But if I am denying it, I am not useful at all. I am nothing.

I can be of help, because my mind is different. I don't think fear thoughts all day long. I think with the Mind of God. Love is my reality. I know this works because I experience it every day. I get really excited about this. My mind is different from what it used to be. I know I cannot die. I know there is a God who loves me. And this is a dream that is already over. It is very exciting.

I used to be so depressed. For years, I felt like life was so intolerable. It was such a burden just being here and it all changed when I found the Course. It really affected me on all levels. I am free today. I am honest with myself and others. I don't hang onto resentments. I make amends, I let them go.

Everyone is taking medication for depression now and I just laugh. A pill is not going to solve this problem, dear ones. You have to go through the fear, and release your pitiful ideas about being separate, lost and alone. Underneath all this fear, is just one idea. And it simply isn't true. You are not separate from God. You made a simple mistake, and that mistake has been corrected for you! Isn't that exciting?

Religion won't solve it, drugs won't solve it, endless meditation and yoga won't solve it. It's far too slow. Taking total responsibility for your thoughts is the fastest way out. Because you caused them. You made them up. So you can release them. You have all power! Read the Course, read Christian Science. It all says the same thing. You can see with God's Mind. In fact, you cannot see apart from Him. It is impossible. Use Jesus! He is really here assisting you with all this. He didn't desert you! Let Him into your mind and use Him!

He is the way shower, but not in the way you think. He can't take your fear from you. You have to do it yourself. You have to get totally fed up with it and let it go! True Christianity teaches that you have all power. You can hallucinate, but you can't make your separation real. Just get to the bottom of it. It was just a mistake. And it is not true! Come on! I get so passionate about this, because it worked for me. It healed me of all my errors. And believe me, I had lots of them. I had a total human life with kids and houses and relationships....just like you. And now I am free of the bondage of this death trap.

How did it happen? By doing this Course and accepting it as true. I made no exceptions. I still make no exceptions. Any time something is off, I can feel it. I ask for help, I ask a brother to help me see it differently. I reach out and I accept the help. It can come from anyone. Your worst enemy is your savior! Let Him save you! Mine did. And now I see I made it all up and none of it is true. Thank God!

Blessings!

My Mind is Part of God's, I am Very Holy

This is a real kicker! Have you ever done this lesson?

You will believe that you are part of where you think you are. You surround yourself with the environment you want. And you want it to protect the image of yourself that you have made. The image is part of the environment. What you see while you believe you are in it is seen through the eyes of the image. This is not vision. Images cannot see.

This brings me to a sudden realization that my body is an image and I'm trying to protect it. Everything I see in the environment I have surrounded myself with is still just an image. I cannot see anything if I am an image. I am just seeing my own imagery. How can I protect an image? If it is just an image, why would I want to?

The idea is to let go of my image, and let God's idea of me replace that image I have made up.

One time, I let go of an obligation that I thought I had to fulfill where I was playing music in a band and I had grown tired of it. I just let go and refused to participate any more. It was scary, because all the other members let me know that I had let them down. However, when I walked into the session room with the Master Teacher, he looked at me and said "Congratulations! You let go of your imagery!"

The whole point of awakening is to really take a stand for the fact that I am constructing the entire environment I'm in. Including my job, my children, my house, my family, my groups of friends. All of it is my imagery. And I am in no way obligated to stay in it. I am actually required to accept that first, I made it up. Second, decide that I don't want to be in it any more. Third, release it.

I have to release my own need to stay in it, let go of the idea that someone else will be upset if I do so. That is possible, but, the line that keeps going through my head is "you would not react at all to figures in a dream you knew you were dreaming." Let them be as viscious as they may be, you would not react at all! I think of Jesus carrying the cross, "Behold, I make all things new!" he said as he walked. He knew it was all illusory and was totally willing to demonstrate it for me.

The awakening is a demand I make upon myself--a demand that I will not be tricked by my own imagery, or my own constructed ego identity any longer. I am not an image. I am the Holy Son of God Himself. But when I am suffering, I am an image, and I am not even real.

I am not a body, I am free. There is no obligation in Heaven. There is nothing missing! There is no lack, no sense of having to do anything!

I do want to be free and to set all my imagery free. Because the universe is holographic, when I set myself free, everything is set free. Everything I see then reflects this freedom. When I am healed, I am not healed alone. It's very simple. But you have to apply it.

So, the lesson goes on to have you list all the attributes of your self-identity or self-image you have made up. I see myself as imposed upon, depressed, failing, endangered, helpless, victorious, losing out, charitable, virtuous. Any attribute will work. I look within my mind, I see myself as lacking, doubting, mistrustful, in pain, small, unworthy. Use anything that comes to you.

Just do it right now! Really, it doesn't take more than a couple of minutes. You might be amazed what comes up. Then let go of the ideas, and state, after each one, but my mind is part of God's. I am very holy.

Holy? Can you accept this? Well, it's true, and because it is the opposite of your own self-constructed image of yourself, it might be hard to accept at first. But, I have to use reason at this point: God isn't wrong about me, after all, He created me in His image. And God is Holy!

I am the Holy Son of God Himself.

A declaration of truth. I cannot be anything but perfect and whole, whether I like it or not. My opinion of myself is wrong. How I see myself in all its positive and negative aspects, is still just simply wrong. I have learned to use breathing a lot to release the energy of false ideas.

I breathe out the false imagery.... and just let go. Try it. It's so simple, but you have to do it. Let me know how it goes!

Blessings!